I've been reading around in the forum, but I can't find an answer to my problem. Maybe someone can help me out here.
History (maybe important): A few months ago, the TÜV criticized the non-functioning fog lights (front and rear). I took the car to a free workshop and they worked it around there for a long time until they turned off the switches as the cause. When I picked up the car again, the switch indicator showed all segments orange. According to the operating instructions, the emergency run program.
They in the garage said they weren't on anything about the gearbox. OK, the gearbox also switched clean all the gears through and didn't stay in the third drive stage as written in the operating instructions, so I thought the display was broken and I checked it off. Don't bother.
Yesterday, I was slowly approaching a crossroads. Shortly before the stop, the engine suddenly woke up and the speed went up dramatically. In the first scare, I immediately turned the ignition key and pulled it out. Then I started the engine again and it ran normally in idle. So put the selector lever on D and gas. The engine turned up and the car stopped.

Then I gave a little more gas on a second attempt. Suddenly a jerk went through the car, from behind (?) there was a dull bang to hear, but now he drove again. However, only in stage 3.

Engine set again on the next occasion. After restarting the same game only without jerking and "knall". So level three.
Then I turned it off again and set the SEM switch to M after the start. Choosing lever on 2 and he started in the second drive stage. Switching up and down manually between 2 and D was easy, even with vehicle downtime. In the standstill I could also switch down to 1, only here the engine turned up briefly after starting when switching from 1 to 2.
Then I turned the selector switch from M to E while driving. Everything went as usual. He switched all the steps, he switched down at kickdown, etc. At the next stop (red traffic light) the new disillusionment: giving gas, motor turns up, giving more gas, car drives again only in the 3. Drive level.
I fear that a mechanical problem has probably arisen here that is related to the first stage/transition to the second stage. If anyone could help me out here, I'd be really grateful. I love the car and have had to put in a lot of money in the last 3 years alone (new steering gear, new brake discs in front, timing belts and some other little things), if a new gear is due now, then good night.
My most urgent question, however, is: Can I continue with the switch position on M in the way described above, or do I perhaps break even more with it? I need the car for work and I have four children to feed. Ask for honest answers. Otherwise I'd better look around for a used VW Polo from similar year of construction.
By the way, my V8 is a 3.6 from 1989.
Best regards, Christian