Let's go for a little more realistic kinda situation:
1. Open up the hood.
2. Light yourself a cigarette. While investigating the engine and everything else you find in there, nod your head from time to time and perform noises of wisdom
3. Rip someting out, that looks as if it is broken
4. Get yourself a coffee / beer, try not to forget to take the cigarette out of your mouth before you drink
5. Examine the part you've been just ripping out. Clean everything with at least 1 1/2 liters of brake cleaner. Keep some of the brake cleaner for later purposes, you would like to start the grill perhaps or... (sure you will)
6. Examine again. Looks not broken at all. Reassamble.
7. Start engine
8. Extinguish fire coming from the part that you've been just flooding with brake cleaner.
9. Get yourself another beer. Proceed with step 3. Repeat until the car is fixed, or somebody appears for starting a bbq etc..
So much for a realisitic car diag. Go get yourself a beer and stop spamming...
