forum.audiv8.com Foren German Talk Nein, wir sind nicht durchgeknallt...

... unsere amerikanischen Kollegen sind es (ja, es ist wieder mal Englisch):

-----Original Message-----
From: Roger Woodbury [mailto:rmwoodbury@roadrunner.com]
Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2009 4:49 AM
To: 'Jeremy Ward'
Cc: v8@audifans.com
Subject: V8 Optionizing

Dr. Roger opens the door to his study. It is comfortably lit with warmwhite bulbs. Candles are burning on the fireplace mantle letting off a slight haze, and there are two large, comfortable easy chairs on either side of the cozy fire.

"Come in and sit down, Jeremy," Dr. Roger says. "Make yourself comfortable. Take a few deep breaths to organize your thoughts and then share your Audivacillations. Sharing Audivacillations is the way to The Cure."

Jeremy comes in and sits by the fireplace. "I don't know where to begin exactly, Dr. Roger. I have a Cyclamen V8 which is the love of my life. But I bruised her nose...YES! I DID IT! I DIDN'T STOP IN TIME AND I BRUISED HER NOSE!"

Dr. Roger nods, and says, "yes, yes, go on."

"But Dr. Roger: I didn't let the Evil Insurance Empire take her. Oh, they WANTED to: but I fought them off and kept her. She DESERVES to be saved. She is sooo beautiful!"

"I understand, Jeremy. So what is the problem that has brought you here to share today?"

"Well, I saw this Ragusa V8. It called to me. I tried, Dr. Roger, I TRIED to turn away, but the siren song of a Ragusa...have you ever heard the siren song of a Ragusa?....(Dr. Roger shakes his head, "no".)...well, I just couldn't help myself, so I brought HER home with me. And now, there is another Audi who's song has come upon me. I am thinking of her, and thinking of bringing her home. And if I did, then I could fix up Cyclamen's bruised nose and she would be good forever."

"Yes, yes. I see. So a simple nose job makes Cyclamen whole again. I see. But to do this, probably Ragusa needs not to be there with her song. I see. But if Cyclamen were whole, the Audi Gods would extend forgiveness for the error or your ways...."

Jeremy nodded enthusiastically, "yes, yes!"

"And you would have peace," concluded Dr. Roger. And then he went on slowly: "So, Jeremy, tell me. If the Ragusa with 82,000 miles went away so you could achieve peace with Cyclamen, what would it take. Now, you told me in the pre-interview that she needed a timing belt, but what would it take if she went away and someone else gave her a timing belt and you and Cyclamen could regain the path to wholeness. Tell me everything."

Jeremy took a deep breath. "Those incense candles are very powerful, Dr. Roger."

"Oh, they're not insense. Their Audinosense. They're very special."

Hi
ich kann kein Englisch
ist es den wichtig
wen nicht auch egal

rofl
Gibt's dafür schon Pillen? Ich glaube ich bin gefährdet

LOL kann mir das jemand übersetzen? Hatte nie Englischunterricht in der Schule.

in dem Zusammenhang mache ich mir ernsthafte Sorgen um mich... bin glaube ich infiziert...

Fix noch mal!!

Ich hab mich auch infiziert....

ATOMROFLMAO!

Das is geil!

Hi,

wieder so eine Anekdote - diesmal geht es um die Auspuffgummis vom Achter:

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Well, it's true, the Germans LOVE their little rubber and plastic gizzies that they carefully engineer to sit directly above the exhaust manifold. That way, at precisely sixty-two point zero eight seven, the little rubber gizzie MIT plastic base part will decompose at a rate of point oh three millemeters per hour of operational use at precisely 2675 rpm or more.

It is obviously from experience, a scientific fact. It is also an historical fact. The big tank battle at Kursk was lost because the German Panther and Tiger tanks, although far superior to the Soviet T-34 in terms of fire power and accuracy, suffered a significant failure rate of the little rubber and plastic gizzies that connected the fuel lines to the engines, mounted the engines themselves, and even held the aiming perisopes in position. The tank failure occurred at precisely a ratio of 87.45 Russian tanks to one, while the numerical ratio was precisly 87.47 to one. Such are the accidents of history.

You know, of course, the biggest single difference between the Japanese auto engineers and the German one's? Well, you see, in Germany, the auto engineers look at an automobile issue, and figure out a way to make whatever the part is out of rubber and plastic. Then they design a way to mount it using 43 different procedures, and 17 different sized screws and nuts.

The Japanese look at exactly the same part or process, and figure out a way to make the part out of old Sony radio cases and mount it using only 37 separate procedures. Then they invent two fasteners that will hold it precisely in position.

Of course the Japanese fasterners require use of a special tool that no one in this country has....

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Bastian